Dawn's flower.... no such, right? wrong. in every dawn, there is a flower that blooms, whether a real flower or whether it's something new that comes from nothing or something. in my world, I am that flower. my mind is full of things that suddenly appear, sometimes crap, and sometimes things that make you think and wonder, while making perfect sense or complete non-sense. and although i am just a teenager, i am still blooming with thoughts, ideas, and experience that i believe everyone can know about. so, find a soft spot, get your cuddle buddy, and enjoy the view of Dawn
my name is Dawn. well, sorta. my middle name is Shao-wei, meaning Dawnflower in chinese (hence, Dawn's Flower....). i am only 15 years old and as many of my friends say, my brain isn't really all together. however, i have thoughts that i think are important, or just dumb yet i want to share them. sometimes, my outlet of expression is through writing. although sometimes, i feel that i can't always say them outloud, but they have to be written to have meaning and thought run through the words. it's no wonder that i love to write... writing is different than talking. writing can have meaning, but have grace and art formed from it. it can be as beautiful as Dawn *snicker* or as plain as a piece of paper.... so long as it is something.....
Take some time for you to reflect on everything. * Have fun... 
Thanks for the visit 
always happy to have people pay me a visit thanks love your journal really nice have a great w/e 
I'm in the lovely national capital of Canada where the trees are in all sorts of colour right now. LOL you are the same age as my daughter, and I'm thinking this is a lot like what she would write. 
Heya! Thanks for stopping by my journal, I'm glad you like it! Your pictures are great btw! Hope you have a great week! 
i think that everyone wishes for a life where you don't have to think so much and everything is at your feet.... without you thinking so much. well, i can say this: I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. there are so many things that i wish could just happen for me without any effort at all and then everyone can be happy. ha ha, yeah, right.... that will never happen for me. i've been waiting for a day like that for YEARS. and is it here? no. will it come? probably not. will i complain? sure as hell! but hey, what are you gonna do about it?
well, might as well explain why i'm all, whatever..... ok. just recently, in language arts, we got this God-forbid project about this book called Life of Pi. it's not bad, but me being a teen, not a great one for me. well, we had this presentation that we had to do and then had an essay talking about the book on whatever topic we wanted. well, i didn't do so hot. my essay: 65%. my presentation: 73%. but do you know what was REALLY depressing? i got my essay back first. it lowered my grade to a 68% and then today, i get my presentation grade online (infinite campus. teacher grades go on there to tell us how we do and so they don't have to use paper to keep track of grades...) and you know what? MY GRADE ROSE. i'm not quite sure if it was good that i got a C on my presentation, but i don't care..... my dad should be grateful, i think. well, at least i'm slowly raising my grade. and from what i heard from my teacher today, we won't have much homework unless extremely easy like SAT vocab words, which everyone ALWAYS does good on. then, there's the final. since i actually AM good at language arts, i just hate the work and such, i should do fine. which means i can pull it up, plus easy homework. but still, the presentation..... i'm still not sure if i should praise it or not. well, i can still pull up my grade up some. since my grade for my essay was REALLY low, our teacher is letting us to a rewrite. although, heh heh, i need a teacher edit worth nothing. but, she said that once she tells us what we need to fix (and we do it), then she will regrade it and then post the average of the grades as our final essay grade. i already did the math and if i somehow pull off a 100%, then the highest i can get is about an 82%.... it's not as high as i hoped, but hey, it's better than a 65%.
well, now that i said what the main topic of this little entry is about, TIME TO GO OFF-ROAD! i feel like talking about after Thanksgiving. yeah, not the greatest thing on the planet. and just for the record, i'd just like to state that every single day of that weekend, i pretty much cried every single day at least once. well, on friday, i went to the mall with carson and Joe, one of my friends. we had fun, and joe was obsessed with the Wii. they had displays out in the mall so everyone could play one of the demo games and he spent maybe an hour there. well, that made us late when my dad was to pick us up, and that got me in even more trouble, which said that i couldn't go to the double date the next day (included: me and carson, joe and Jen. they MIGHT be a new couple, but still working on it. blind). that put me in the worst mood possible. carson and joe both got worried about me while we were driving to my aunts house. we got there and taught joe how to play Texas Hold'em. then, we played against my dad and my uncle Gary. well, not for long. maybe 3 rounds and that was it.
the next day, my dad said that i could go so long as i didn't screw up the rest of the day. well, i did. we were driving to my aunts house again around noon and when me and my dad stayed in the car to talk a little, i was kinda pissed at him (although i forgot why) and all i did was stare at him. i didn't have an expression on my face, but it ticked him off and he said i couldn't go.... AGAIN!
wait, scratch that. I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED! my parents have this little issue about "plans". if we don't ahve a cookie-cut plan, i can't go anywhere. so, they were calling parents to make sure who were driving. so, here's the thing: joe's parents said that they could drive both ways, meaning taking us and picking us up. well, my parents dont believe in that. if a parent has to do both, they wont allow it. my mom even said that because of that, we shouldn't even go. so, i just said, "just leave it. they're fine with it, why can't you". so, that pissed them off..... and eventually, they got a plan. not that i got mad at THAT, it's just that when i was fine and i didn't want to change something that could cause more problems, they do it and it causes more problems. see the pattern? well, that's what happened before hand.
after my dad said i couldn't go, even after all of the calls for the plan, i had to call everyone to say i wasn't going. so, i called carson first. i wanted to tell him first because he can always cheer me up somehow and i felt he had the right to know first... he's my date. so, when i call, he got pissed off that my dad suddenly throws something like that so SUDDENLY and it was unreasonable. well, he said that he would get his mom to call my dad to talk. well, while those two parents talked on another line, carson was trying to calm me down cause i was bawling my eyes out. and then, i see him. my dad walking down here. my heart was pounding like crazy because i was so scared he was going to hit me because i asked a parent to talk to him. no, he's not abusive, i have a big imagination like that.... it was the first thing that ran through my head. well, he opened the door to the car (yes, i was still in there. i wasn't going to enter the house of relatives crying, now was i?) and said i could go. then, he left. yes, i felt better, but since my body is kind of slow at responding to those sudden happy moments, i was still crying. it took another 15 minutes to stop and carson helped a lot. so, i got to go. i could go to the date. the date was at the mall, where we have a movie theater which is REALLY convenient. then, i find out about my relatives going to the same movie at the same time as us. okay, that made me mad. i didn't show it, but i was pissed. and i planned on changing that.
when we got to the mall, we were early by about 20 minutes, so we walked around Borders. yes, the mall has a Borders. just opened this month. when they arrive, i said we should go to the 7:45 one instead of teh 7:00 because of my relatives. now, i knew that they would understand. who would want to go to a movie on a double date when 5 other relatives could be right behind you? well, we bought the tickets and i told my parents. and guess what? I GET IN TROUBLE AGAIN! my mom was getting sick and because of that, she said that she wasnt' going to wait around for 45 minutes after their movie if we went our separate ways to take me home (my parents would take me and the other three would stay). so, carson, in my perspective, got mad at me saying he couldn't take me getting in trouble like this anymore and went to talk to my dad. i felt so guilty, i practically ran to the ticket booth to ask if we could switch tickets. they said yes, so i switched mine and told the others to switch. carson asked joe to do his so he could talk to me, who happened to be sulking in a corner leaning on a wall. truth be told, i didn't want his comfort. i felt so upset that i let him down and my parents and my aunts and uncles, not to mention joe and jen. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE INVOLVED?! thats.... 1, 2.....8 PEOPLE!!!!!! well, carson came to ask what was wrong. did he not see what happened? i responded by saying "i did it again. i got you mad, my parents mad..." and he said "what are you talking about? i'm not mad" yeah, i didn't know how to respond to that. i was SURE that he was mad at me. i looked up at him, even with my just-about-ready-to-cry-some-more eyes and he looked fine. he didn't look mad at all.... well, it was either i was going insane and he didn't say that phrase, or he was just trying to cheer me up. well, in my state, i just went with i was insane. well, in 3 minutes, my eyes were back to their normal glory and joe and jen didn't know i was ready to cry. carson ate cause he was hungry and then the movie was ready to start. we went to the theater and carson wanted a soda. i went along cause for one thing, i felt i needed his company. well, he took that time to ask if i wanted anything and i said no, so he asked if i was alright. i already was in a better mood, so i smiled my happy nothing-is-wrong smile and said "i'm good!" but was really going through my head was that i screwed up and i should keep on smiling, no matter what.
then we went to the movie and guess what? almost a full house. we went to THE frond row and watched 007: Casion Royale and it was good. some parts, i closed my eyes and carson used his hand, like he always does when i don't want to see something. but what was great about the movie was that carson held my hand the entire time. i already know that he's done that at every movie we've seen as a couple, but this felt a little better. and there were moments i don't want to forget:
1) when this girl who would be bond's "lover" in character appeared, he said she was hot. being me, i whined a small one and he just smiled. and then he asked: "what, are you jealous?" and i OBVIOUSLY responded "no!". he laughed and then told me "well, i think it's cute". i could have sworn, if it weren't so dark, i blushed. and then i believe after that, my hand that he was holding was raised and he kissed it. yeah, more blushing and the extra load of butterflies.
2) now, this i'm not so sure about, but i feel like i have to say it and we came so close: we almost kissed. it may not sound so amazing, but we've never kissed and it's almost been 3 months since we've been together. i'm not complaining, but i do wish that we could kiss. just me being a girl i guess. and that i've always been curious. but we were SO close. i mean, our noses were touching, i could see his lips and when i got so curious, i moved my head just a bit and looked at his eyes. he was looking at mine. we were in that position for a while and i don't know, i suddenly reacted and smiled, then turned to the movie. and yes, more butterflies. this actually happened two or three times.
it was fun. after the movie, we left, then my dad said that he would take us home. you see? my parents can't seem to live with one parents doing the work. well, we took jen home first, then joe, then carson. it was fun. i enjoyed it a lot. of course, i got yelled at still and had to do 500 lines.... but hey, i got what i needed, right?
well, that should be enough for tonight. things are going a little higher for me now, but chaos still exists. it's hard to get rid of it, but slowly bit by bit, everything is returning to normal. only a little bit more to go and everything will be fine. well, maybe. i have this damn cough, so now i ain't allowed coffee or soda.... well, once this passes, THEN everything is be back to it's rightful place.
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