ok, i guess i'll start on yesterday, since i forgot to write. it was normal, except for one thing. IT WAS ME AND MY BF'S ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY! lol i remember that when i walked through the doors of the school, since my friend's mom was giving me a ride, he was trying to call me since we had what? 4 minutes to get to class? well, he was RIGHT next to the door and he didn't see me.... i just love it when he does that. it's so funny. well, i jumped him and we hugged. then, because in a chat we had a couple of days ago, he wanted to get me something. so, when he was typing "maybe i'll buy you dinner or something", i IMMEDIATELY posted BEFORE him, i said "buy me twinkies, and i'm good" so, guess what i got? HERSEY'S KISSES! he gave me 30 and about half were gone by lunch time.... obviously, i was hungry. and i promised brit that i would give her ONE kiss, so she got that one, at 6 PM. do you know how hard it is to NOT eat that one, simple, little kiss for more than 2 hours?! well, it was fun. we actually rode in the same car and when we dropped brit off, we talked to my mom for a little and i told her about our anniversary. so, with lots of convincing, she let us go to applebee's together. it was around 6:30, so we had plenty of time. when we got there, it was completely empty, kinda. i mean, i know it was a weekday and i know it was late, but i kinda expected more people there. but then again, i was happy not many were there. to me, it was kinda our first date. i really can't say that since we've been to a lot of places together, with and without friends. i even remember the week before he asked me out, we went to see the Wicker Man together. lol, he even has the ticket from that day! well, back on topic. since it was, to me, our first date, i wasn't quite used to going around as a couple. i mean, we walked in with his arm around my shoulder (yes, i did get used to it) and all of the sudden, a lot of people just stared at us. it was hard enough to get used to the school looking at us, but the school is bigger than a small restaurant and i felt weird just in there. it made me quiet and the lady that was escorting us, i believe, was thinking it was cute. cause, to be truthful, we are short. people think i am so young that i have been called 12 (however, before i got my hair dyed. now, i look a little older... with the attitude factor in there) and carson (i'm getting tired of saying "my boyfriend") is short as well. we are two, short, chinese people walking into applebee's. just picture it. well, when we ate, i was once again amazed at carson's eating. we went to the mall one time and he just had this HUGE subway sub and it had everything, and i mean EVERYTHING, on there. THE PEOPLE COULDN'T EVEN CLOSE IT! well, same happened yesterday. he got a fajita and he filled each tortilla with so much stuff, it was no longer a fajita, it was a soft taco.... and he complained that he wanted a fajita.... well, i had just a small portion of chicken fingers, since i wasn't that hungry. carson even complained that i should have told him, but i didn't tell him that i wanted really badly to go with him. it was gonna be weird if we didn't do anything together on our one month other than him giving me chocolate, if you get my drift. well, we had a good time and he said he would pay for me, but he was gonna make me pay for the homecoming ticket, the jackass.... but it was nice enough for the dinner, so i'm fine. anyway, we walked out of applebee's and since it's part of this really big Dierburg's plaza, we walked to Dierburg's (if you don't know what that is, go look it up... it's a grocery store). it was REALLY nice outside, even for 7:50 PM and we walked at this really slow pace. it's really funny when you think about it because just today, brit and my best friend jenn brought up how when i'm with him, we walk REALLY slowly. well, he's the one that sets the pace, since he's too big for me to push him. anyway, it was really nice out, but i was still cold. so, when we walked into dierburg's, it was even colder. but, he wasn't of any help, so we kinda walked around, looking at stuff for maybe a minute or less. then, he said he wanted to get me a flower. i did tell him that i love roses, so we walked to the florist in Dierburg's and we say that a bouquet was $17 and one was $1.37 or something, then we thought of the wrist thingies that girls wear and the flower's that guys wear to homecoming and prom. we needed those. so, we, i mean I, walked to the lady and asked how to get one. she said you have to order. then, we asked how much they were..... the guy's thing was $20 and the girl's was $17..... automatic NO. 1) we didn't have the money yet and 2) simply no. it was really expensive, but i really am thinking of buying one anyways. i thought something small like that would be nice. after all, my dress from homecoming is only black with a bunch of rimestones at the top (i'll get a picture later...) and a small, red or white flower would really look nice.

wow, that was a really long one. i didn't expect it to be that way. oh well. well, today was fine. i'm doing okay in my classes, carson got a little pissed cause he thought he wouldn't be able to eat outside since we thought it would rain, then play practice came. for some reason, i was in a pissy mood. i kinda got mad at everything, but especially at one point. we were gonna work on a few numbers for the play and kelsey, our choreographer, was having issues with talking to us since a lot of people were talking while she was was trying to teach us stuff. so, after she taught us the basics, we went into the halls to clean it up. then, the people she gave charge to came down hard on us. she said that she didn't ever want to hear us talk because now that kelsey was yelling a lot, she is beginning to lose her voice. so, after that, i didn't want to piss them off and i didn't want anyone to piss me off. otherwise, practice was good.

okay, this was just going on for the last.... hour.... but i was talking to carson. he seemed to be really stressed, but he said some really nice things.... and i just have to put them up on here! well, it's really long, but i'll try to get rid of all the dumb stuff..... also, the sn's have been altered, so don't bother writing to them..... won't work.

latte my kitty (8:31:30 PM): ...... did i tell you that i'm beginning to worry about you again?
Chineserapper009 (8:31:38 PM): yea
Chineserapper009 (8:31:48 PM): i no
Chineserapper009 (8:32:05 PM): dont worry bout me just worry bout urself let me worry bout the both of us
latte my kitty (8:32:21 PM): .... that's not gonna help your case
Chineserapper009 (8:32:54 PM): yea well it helps urs
Chineserapper009 (8:33:15 PM): let me go crazy thinkin
latte my kitty (8:34:05 PM): look, i'm worrying about you whether or not you want me to. i really wanna help, so stop saying i should care for myself cause right now, that sounds selfish and i don't want that
Chineserapper009 (8:34:45 PM): yea i no it sounds selfish but i just dont want u gettin hurt bc of me
Chineserapper009 (8:35:13 PM): i care bout u
latte my kitty (8:35:44 PM): normally, i would say "awww!! that's so sweet and cute!", but i feel like arguing and i found myself something to argue about
Chineserapper009 (8:36:03 PM): u always find somethin to argue about
Chineserapper009 (8:36:16 PM): but i can argue about nethin but dont look for it
latte my kitty (8:36:47 PM): 1) i've already been hurt, mentally and physically, so, i feel immune and 2) you're already piled with responsibility, so shut up
Chineserapper009 (8:37:04 PM): yea a whole lot of it
Chineserapper009 (8:37:45 PM): i just worry if uget too involved and somethin might hurt us
latte my kitty (8:38:06 PM): .... i just gotta say it:
latte my kitty (8:38:12 PM): AAWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chineserapper009 (8:38:25 PM): ok ok tats it wit the wahs
latte my kitty (8:38:41 PM): ... that an "aww"... not a "wah"....
latte my kitty (8:39:22 PM): i'm saying aww cause that was just so cute! and i think it's great that you care a lot about our relationship, but don't overdo it....
latte my kitty (8:39:51 PM): that wouldn't be cool if you took too much responsibility and got too stressed....
Chineserapper009 (8:40:09 PM): well im already stressed
latte my kitty (8:40:26 PM): and do you want to get MORE stressed?
latte my kitty (8:40:29 PM): i think NOT!
Chineserapper009 (8:40:30 PM): i need a massage to loosen me up
latte my kitty (8:40:46 PM): lol. i would give one, but i suck and i think your dad is better....
Chineserapper009 (8:41:29 PM): yea i need alot of pressure i got real tense muscles
Chineserapper009 (8:42:16 PM): well dont worry bout me too much
Chineserapper009 (8:42:22 PM): ull start stressin out like me
latte my kitty (8:42:25 PM): HOW CAN I NOT!
latte my kitty (8:43:23 PM): if you care about me a lot, i have to return that by caring about you and now that we're bf/gf, i care about you so much that if ANYTHING bad goes on, i wanna know what and i feel like i need to help, in some way or another!
Chineserapper009 (8:44:33 PM): i appreciate u helpin and i want u to help but if somethin goe wrong or bad i dont want it to affect us
Chineserapper009 (8:45:03 PM): even if we werent bf/gf itll still b the same
Chineserapper009 (8:45:12 PM): i no u too well
latte my kitty (8:45:19 PM): ..... true....
latte my kitty (8:45:38 PM): well, tell me what could possibly go wrong...
Chineserapper009 (8:45:49 PM): and seein u get hurt or in trouble well.....lets just say i ll feel bad
Chineserapper009 (8:45:58 PM): well one ur grades arent lookin so hot
latte my kitty (8:46:05 PM): ...
Chineserapper009 (8:46:27 PM): and if tat goes on who nos wen our parents wont lets us b wit each other
Chineserapper009 (8:46:46 PM): ive thought through this pretty thoroughly and still in the back of my mind
latte my kitty (8:47:05 PM): .... you think too much
Chineserapper009 (8:47:20 PM): i no....
latte my kitty (8:48:56 PM): LEARN TO NOT THINK. look, if you don't think about a few things, chances are, you won't be so nervous unless you do something stupid like COMPLETELY forget about it. all i'm saying is that you shouldn't think things through so much. if you start thinking that seriously, then those thoughts will haunt you and wont go away, which is just as bad as them actually happening.
latte my kitty (8:50:01 PM): ooh, if i start talking nonsense, just tell me
latte my kitty (8:50:08 PM): i'm in my rambling mood....
Chineserapper009 (8:50:32 PM): well they have haunt me and it wasnt fun but....well uve seen me have fun u no how nonthinkin i can b at parties
latte my kitty (8:53:13 PM): lol yeah. but still. you've had WAY too many chances to think... and you've taken tham all. i know i'm not the best at giving advice of any sort, but quite honestly, i just don't want you to think of something that could hurt us. just, don't think about that
Chineserapper009 (8:53:51 PM): u no ive even thought bout this talk b4 i started
latte my kitty (8:54:20 PM): ... EXACTLY! DON'T THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS!!!
Chineserapper009 (8:54:25 PM): i wondered if i continued to talk like this u might break up wit me 
latte my kitty (8:54:37 PM): NO! DON'T THINK THAT WAY!
Chineserapper009 (8:54:40 PM): so i tried to avoid these talks bc of tat
latte my kitty (8:54:59 PM): carson, let's get one thing straight:
latte my kitty (8:55:45 PM): I'M A GIRL. girls have to know how someone feels or else, especially in my case, i have no idea how a person thinks or ANYTHING.
latte my kitty (8:56:43 PM): talks like these actually give me an IDEA of where we are, and it tells me how much you really care about me, and it's a lot right now. and i really appreciate that and it makes me happy to know that
Chineserapper009 (8:57:23 PM): well...i can tell how much u care bout me by askin me all this
Chineserapper009 (8:57:40 PM): i just dont want u to worry bout me
latte my kitty (8:57:47 PM): ..............
latte my kitty (8:58:20 PM): do i have to repeat myself? well, i will anyways: HOW CAN I NOT WORRY ABOUT YOU!!!!!!
Chineserapper009 (8:58:54 PM): just dont.....do u like think bout me all the time?
latte my kitty (9:01:42 PM): course i do. well, i admit, not every singly moment of my day, but i do think about you a lot.... and lately, i keep wondering if you're gonna be okay. i mean, even today you said you weren't gonna act yourself for a while, then you'd have to FIND yourself, then you'll be yourself again... and you said that it could take a while. mainly when my mind isn't thinking on something at that exact moment, that's when i think....
latte my kitty (9:02:58 PM): if that sounds weird, i'm sorry....
Chineserapper009 (9:03:07 PM): no it makes sense
latte my kitty (9:04:31 PM): h/o dad
Chineserapper009 (9:04:46 PM): .......................
latte my kitty (9:04:56 PM): hey,he called me
Chineserapper009 (9:05:01 PM): ...................
latte my kitty (9:06:24 PM): alright.... no! like i said, i'm a girl and being me, i need to know something DIRECTLY infront of me to know what's going on.... and if you haven't noticed, reading minds really isn't one of my talents.....
Chineserapper009 (9:07:21 PM): well readin gurls minds r "really easy" to understand
Chineserapper009 (9:07:35 PM): u gurls r complicated
latte my kitty (9:08:07 PM): amazingly, you can read mine perfectly!
latte my kitty (9:08:17 PM): even with my brain not totally together!
Chineserapper009 (9:08:17 PM): well not u.....i can read u like a.....well i dont read i just no wat u r thinkin
Chineserapper009 (9:08:34 PM): lol
latte my kitty (9:08:58 PM): lol
latte my kitty (9:09:09 PM): so, what's on your mind?
Chineserapper009 (9:09:37 PM): essay..........
Chineserapper009 (9:09:50 PM): so we ok wit us? 
Chineserapper009 (9:10:16 PM): im kinda suprise of how far we r in our relationship....i mean its only been a month
latte my kitty (9:10:51 PM): lol yeah, it kinda feels like it's been longer, hasn't it?
latte my kitty (9:10:56 PM): and yeah, i'm good
Chineserapper009 (9:11:28 PM): i no usually couple dont get this far after a month
Chineserapper009 (9:11:48 PM): example look at bobby and jen broke up within a month
latte my kitty (9:12:15 PM): lol
latte my kitty (9:12:17 PM): true

obviously, all the blue is me. and i do need to change my screenname cause people keep thinking it's wrong when it's just my cats' name...... geez. anyway, i think that that is one of our best conversations.... i want to remember this so much. anyway, i need to go now. well, now i don't have to worry about him that much, but maybe i can get a good night's sleep, if possible... i have strange sleeping habits.... later yall!